Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
