Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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