whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize