Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize