There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
