He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she peed on how many people?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
