This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
