did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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