Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
