I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I enjoy the company of your penis
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