She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
