I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
