Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
