I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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