i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
