walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
