i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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