is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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