i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
