So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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