No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
