Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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