Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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