Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
