Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize