Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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