He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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