just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
