i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just want nice things and good sex
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize