TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
