In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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