you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
