Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
