he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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