The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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