I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
