I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My penis needs a shock collar
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
