we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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