hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
