office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
