it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
