ya dads aren't the best wingmen
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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