she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
