All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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