The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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