Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
