They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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