I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
