I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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