Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
either way he was missing a nipple.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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