I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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