the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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