tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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