you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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