Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
