I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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