Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
