I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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