Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize