dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
