at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
