yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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