Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
3pm strippers are depressing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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