if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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